TWO YEARS LATER...

It's been two years since that day. A blessing and a curse at the same time. I was almost killed, but delivered instead. I think of it like a second birthday, because God gave me life for a second time when he released the hold from around my neck... when he perfectly coordinated the ring of the doorbell with the very instant in time that I was slipping from consciousness, when he pulled me from that darkness and directed me back into the light... that day changed my life. 

It was November 6, 2011. It gives me goosebumps to think of what could've happened if things would've taken a different turn. If God hadn't spared me... and what about my kids?!? Would he have killed them too? Two years later and for sure it would've been the anniversary of my death...

He grabbed my neck! I squirmed...

"Let me go! Get off of me!"

But he only squeezed harder. My children just a few feet away on the other side of the wall, while their father compromised my airway with an effortless grip around my neck. So many thoughts flooded my mind... "He's gonna hurt the kids", "I have to live!", "This is finally it!", "GOD Help Me!!!"

The look in his eyes was emotionless, he stared directly into my eyes with complete darkness, like I could see through his soul. There was no evidence of humanity... just evil. 

I fought him... I tried gouging at his eyes, kicking his groin, scratching, and other remedial methods to break free, but I was only wasting energy and feeding his wrath. The angrier he became, the tighter his grip. In little to no time, I COULDN'T breathe!!! I felt dizzy, I couldn't speak, there was no passage of air, then the fuzziness and the darkness came, and there was an eery peace... I knew I was dead, and I said a prayer for my children...

I find myself fighting back tears as I am writing this. 

It's strange to imagine  that I could have died right there on my kitchen floor at the hands of my own husband. Right beside my children. 

But instead, the doorbell rang right as I was prepared to depart with my life. For the first time in the midst of one our battles had the actual thought and acceptance of death entered my mind, but when I gave up on myself God did not and made His presence known.  

The police had arrived right on time, but not by coincidence. 

Now fast forward two years later...

There is peace of mind, my children are no longer afraid of their own shadows, I no longer live paranoid that he will be waiting for me behind a bush, or in the parking lot of some public place, my children laugh again! They play, they sing, they love, they excel in their interests, they do exceptionally well in school, they are free to be children! 

No more being afraid at home, no more screaming matches instead of lullabies, no more witnessing fights, no more crying, no more, no more, no more...

So I am thankful for November 6, 2011. I could've died that day, but instead God delivered my family...